Wade Wilson has a Multiple-Choice Past, but his most consistent comic book origin story is being a former special forces soldier who worked as a mercenary assassin until he was diagnosed with terminal cancer, then entered the Canadian Department K's Weapon X program after all conventional treatments failed. Hoping to get cured and become a hero, Wade received an experimental treatment derived from Wolverine, a mutant with a Healing Factor who has a history with Weapon X. Wade gained enhanced physical abilities along with Wolverine's healing factor, but with a twist — Wade's healing factor rapidly repairs and replicates cells, so it cures his cancer, then quickly brings the cancer cells back, and eradicates them again and again. This ongoing process ruined his outward appearance and his mental stability, which wasn't helped by torturous "experiments" under Dr. Killebrew and his assistant Francis Fanny a.k.a. Ajax. Wade fell in love with the personified Death as he longed for his pain to end. The test subjects ran a betting pool for how quickly each patient would be dead — the "Deadpool" — leading to Wade's Meaningful Rename when he broke out of the program. As Deadpool, he resumed his mercenary life, initially as a Punch-Clock Villain before finding satisfaction in saving lives... sometimes, but mostly taking them.

NOTE: No, you're not seeing things. There are too many hilarious Deadpool lines to choose from so we just doubled the lines sooo yeah, 6 lines instead of 3. Oh and this probably goes without saying but if you have full freedom to adlib because as I said in the title, it's fucking Deadpool! Have fun, Deadpool nuts!