Dave the Barbarian: The Movie
Project Overview
Long ago, in the distant past of 2004, a series called Dave the Barbarian premiered on Disney. The show centers on a cowardly barbarian named Dave and his friends and family, who go on surreal Medieval-themed adventures. Now, they face their biggest adventure yet, now that their show is...CANCELLED! The world itself is falling apart! In order to save it, the cast must unite with old friends, old foes, and each other. Otherwise, everything they've once held dear will fade away.
This "movie" will be done in an audio-drama format, relying primarily on audio to tell the story. After a year and a half of behind the scenes development, the crew now feels that we are ready to carry on with this project. We have been lifelong fans of the series, and are ready to give it the ending that it deserved, but never received.
The requirements are...
1: A good or decent mic.
2: Commitment to see the project through to the end.
3: Have fun with it!
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Dave is a muscular and very strong barbarian war-prince who is very sensitive to pain and would rather knit and cook than fight evil. He is also afraid of more things than he could count, often resulting to shrieking in his high-pitched, effeminate scream. Nevertheless, he loves his family, and will never back down when their safety is on the line.
I sense evil nearby. Something must be done. I must stop it. But I can’t do it alone! I must call my family! Everyone, come to the throne room! We have evil to vanquish! We are facing the dreaded, terrible, horrifying threat of…dust. It's the biggest threat to a tidy house.
(Scream)
Fang is a very rambunctious and uncivilized tomboy who loves to smash things. Often times, she thrusts Dave into danger, hoping that it will help him become a "true barbarian". Despite her gruff exterior, Fang has a soft side to her deep down, especially when it comes to her parents. Whatever you do, DON'T call her a monkey!
Did someone say “vanquish”? That’s one of my favorite words, right up there with slaughter, maim, disfigure, and kumquat! What? It's a catchy word!
I’m with Lula on this one. There is no way that I'm going to spend my day cleaning some filthy castle that’s just going to get filthy the next day, anyways!
NOT A MONKEY!
Left in charge while the king and queen are away, Candy has a contemporary valley-girl attitude and would rather shop and hang out than rule a kingdom. She is the kingdom's most beautiful girl and she's rather selfish. However, when she wants something, she will go to great lengths to get it, often getting blinded by her desire. In the film, she experiences an exestential crisis while having a difficult time coping with learning that the series has been cancelled.
We've been hiding in the woods for months! Don't you realize that I COMPLETELY ran out of hair products out there?!
Like that matters. I’ve been so invested in shopping, dating cute guys, hanging out with friends, and all that junk. All of the things that I stood for were all meaningless. Erased in the blink of an eye. Without that stuff, what even am I? Every last thing I value is for nothing. Even if we can fix this world, it’s ruined for me. Forever. What’s going to stop all of this from happening again? This has taught me something. Whatever exists in this world means squat. That’s all a part of being a cartoon. One minute, you’re hot stuff. The next, you’re gone. Poof. Vanished. As relevant as the paper you were first drawn on before anyone even put a pencil to it.
Dave, Fang and Candy's uncle. A rather clumsy sorcerer who usually wreaks havoc with his spells rather than being useful. He loves to eat, often being controlled by his stomach. Oswidge presents a rather unkempt appearance. His knowledge of magic and magical items, and most other things, surpasses the rest of the family.
Sorry I’m late. I kept sending myself to the wrong place while I was teleporting myself downstairs. I sent myself to several strange places, Atlantis, the moon, I somehow even sent myself about two thousand years into the future to some strange place called “Las Vegas”. (Shudder) What has been seen cannot be unseen. If you're wondering why I didn't take the stairs, that'd be way too predictable. Does that even matter? Well, maybe not to you non-magic folk.
Dave's shrill, impatient talking sword. Despite merely being a weapon, she has all of the nerve required to be a brutish warrior. She serves as the voice of reason when Dave is either acting cowardly, or takes interest in anything other than pillaging. No matter what, she just can't escape being strapped to Dave's back.
I could have been a spoon. Spoons help people eat. Spoons have a purpose. But no. I have to be strapped to someone with the IQ of a moldy tangerine.
I may be old, but I can still slice you up like a log of cheap baloney.
David, you are about as assertive as a paranoid kitten made of glass. Let me show you how to get someone's attention. (Ahem) Hey! You! Buck-toothed man! What’s going on over here?
A pig with a high-collared cape (and equally high voice) bent on ruling Udrogoth. Despite being a small and chubby pig, he possesses strong evil magic, and an evil stronger to cause pain and destruction on an unsuspecting world. However, in this film, he finds himself at odds with the antagonist (Malsquando), and is forced to join Dave in saving the world.
I’m not trying to help you! I’m trying to help myself! I’m a dark lord of evil, bent on bringing pain and suffering to an unsuspecting world! How can I do that when there’s no world to enact said pain and suffering on? If the world gets erased, I’ll be out of a job! Not to mention out of life! I’m only agreeing to this as a means to an end. While the mere thought of joining forces with you makes me want to vomit in my mouth profusely, I have no other choice. We have to…team up. (Gag) Yep. Here it comes.
(High pitched evil laugh)
An evil princess who seeks to get revenge on Dave for breaking up with her. She is unbelievably petty, and seems to revel in that fact. While she constantly asserts herself as an evil villain, she has a good side deep down that she desperately tries to repress.
That’s what I did when I found out that my father was a good, upstanding man. It tore our family apart. I never got over the fact that no matter how much I begged, he refused to turn to the dark side. Sound familiar, Dave?
What are you talking about? I am so evil! Like, the most evil princess ever! I command hordes of filthy pixies to do unspeakably evil acts! I ransack innocent towns! I even refuse to say “bless you” when people sneeze!
Hey! I’ll have you know that I’m only half good on my father’s side! My mother raised me right! Or, rather, evil! Evilly! You know what I mean!
The main antagonist of the film. Malsquando is Oswidge's opposite. He is charming, suave, skilled in magic, and unbelievably evil. His goal is to aid the world's destruction in return for being promised a spin-off show of his own. As a result, he will stop at nothing to ensure that literally everything and everyone will be erased from all existence.
Unlike the rest of you meaningless vermin, I will not be subjected to this dreaded erasing fate! For you see, I have made a deal with the almighty producers. As it turns out, the process of erasing an entire series is a very long process. That original spot grows into a force that erases everything it touches, but it moves incredibly slowly. In return for agreeing to help speed up the process, I have not only been given the ability to do so, but I have also been promised a spin-off show of my very own! The Malsquando Show! Or, The Malsquan-Show!”
The narrator of the story who directs the plot of each episode, moving everything forward. Without him, the story cannot progress, and the world will be empty. While he does care for the characters, he knows that this is only a job. After all, it's only a show. Right?
Speaks with a deep, commanding voice.
Tell me, what can compare to the feeling of an adventure? Very little, I’d say. It can move you. It can thrill you. It can even change you. The only downside is when it all comes to an end.
And so, the family spent countless hours preparing a welcome home party! It has a banner, streamers, catering from Dave, the whole sha-bang! They went well into the night. Why aren’t we showing you this? Do you know how boring it is to watch people set up a party? Huh? What? Excuse me. I must be going.
![[PAID] Outlaw Of The Spider-Verse](https://d1m9vqlvl3fy94.cloudfront.net/project/attachment/251277/default_736300679F7C8D-5AD9-4124-B60B-8E5BC4FD4CE2.webp)
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