Zeus is the king of the Greek Pantheon gods. He is known to be the high and mighty(and standoffish) thunder daddy who will hump anything that moves, even if he is in a form of golden liquid(or whatever that is, hopefully it's not piss).
"Look at this glorious ass! The ass that will surely smite y'all if you don't keep the secret, got it?"
"Why Hera? It's because of her sass, 'cause you can't spell 'sass' without ass!"
"Damn son. Ganymedes be jealous right now."
Tyr is the Norse God of war and laws, and also the patron of the day Tuesday. He is known for being the one brace enough to stick his hand into Fenrir's mouth.
"FIRE THEM HOES! BITCHES!"(husky low voice)
"This is NOT an 'attire'! This is an atTYR!"(husky low voice)
"Seriously bro? You are cuffing me? I have ONE hand!"(normal talking voice).
We need some people to be the human characters around, we will need them in crowds and party scenes, etc.
Just have a really good mic without a lot of background sound.
Why are you still reading this?
Insert Greek-Mythology-Is-Trash Memes here.
"When I go out to work, I always bring my trusty hoe! Ha, get it? Hoe?"
"I once put my D on a mouse trap, it was sexy."
"Y'all are ruining my life! Why must all treat me like a kid? I hate y'all! I only wanted independence!" (Teen angst mode)
A hipster Slavic god who's basically like Apollo; busy with a lot of stuff. He's a music god, a trickster god, a black magic god, and so on and so on. He's overly protective of his step son, Jarilo.
"Inhale.... exhale.... must relax the mind and soul.....
.... before I decide to annihilate that damn thunderfuck when I see him!"(Yoga)
"Ah.... the hills are alive with the sound of my own son humping for spring."
"DON'T TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT, WHAT YOU REALLY REALLY WANT, BOY! I AM NOT YOUR BANK ACCOUNT!"
A Greek Goddess with an airhead attitude. She orders around Eros and Ares around like slaves, at least with Ares, he can still get mad at her slight abuses. She's pretty alright.... pretty annoying.
"Ew, ew, ew! I broke a nail! Ugh! Ares-babe? Can you, like, buy me a new set of fake nails at Walmart? Like, that would be so lit! Bye boo! Oh! And ones that are French please!"
"Girl, that is so, like, last year's fashion~"
"Ya ain't a hoe if you love them, sweetie~!"
The sass queen, imagine Beyonce becoming a Greek Goddess Instagraming like crazy. That's Hera. But still, she's one hella sexy mama.
"Honey, you and your attitude?(insert sassy snapping here) Nu-uh, Unacceptable."
"Why did I even decide to marry that jerk?"
"Ladies, ladies, ladies.... let's be proper shall we? It's not lady-like to fight... unless your husband is cheating on you again, then go ahead and dismember him for all I care."
Hashtag king and king of the Slavic Gods. He really hates Thor to the point he made a trend in Twitter called #ThorsSux. He is the biological father of Jarilo, who will succeed him in the future. Apparently has a love-hate relationship with Jarilo because he's raised by his (im)mortal enemy, Veles.
"I AM SUCH A GREAT FATHER!"
Really dumb woman, but at least she's really nice. Hades just has to take care of her like crazy. She's also really bubbly and has quite a personality of a dish cloth.
"What do you mean by eating /Hades' Seeds/?"
A really chill ruler God, he shouldn't even be called Odin anymore, he should be called O-DAMN! He's really cool and composed, but he's really good at roasting people, and that includes Thor.
"I have my eye on you, boy, you better think twice about ruling your realm."
"Eye for an eye? Bah! an Eye for knowledge is much more reasonable."
"I don't believe this... 50 Cent person is a deity?"
The perverse and childish and mischievous son of Aphrodite, and was adopted by Ares as a son. This guy really does nothing but be so disobedient with Aphrodite, but at least he is very loyal.
"Hey, it wasn't my fault you got hit by the arrow. You were on the spot!"
"Oh look mom! A prostitute!"
"What's a yaoi?"
The wonder boy of the Greek Gods, he has so much jobs you question if he even has a life. Not only he's good at a lot of things he is also very very good looking, but he comes off as second place with Jarilo, which probably grinds Apollo's gears a little.
"THIS. BOY IS ON FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEE~~~!" (Yes, sing the song)
"Who do you think the Bible meant by 'let there be light?' "
"Duuuuuuude! Look this harp! It has a million strings! Now THIS is the devil's instrument!"
Le Sexy Macho God of the Greco-Roman team, no wonder Aphrodite is so into this guy. He's like a ticking time bomb, you say one thing terrible about him, he will rant as if the end of the world is coming. He really hates Athena, probably because he doesn't use his brains a lot.
"God, this bitch is asking for her ass to get smacked tonight!" (is totally not referring to Aphrodite)
"Haha, I could be a love god too! I LOVE HAVOC!"
"Real men don't wear underwear under their pants, hands down."
Greek merman demigod with an ego like Alexander the Great. When naming stuff, it will always be named after him, So I suggest to never leave the naming to Triton. He's also kind of barbaric in some way, other than the fact he's a deity that eats human meat.
"There's so much stuff I learn about the mortals and landwalkers, you know, like knowing what this thing in between my legs is supposed to be."
"EVERYTHING must be under MY rule! I rule the Tritonis lake, the Tritons, the Tritonides, the town of Triteia, and most of all.... Tritonland."
"You know what else sucks than a whirlpool? You."
Also known as uncle Popo. Really chill guy, but easily gets mad, also a god who is easily triggered by anything.
"WHO LIVES IN THE PALACE UNDER THE SEA???????? Me."
"Water just basically heals everything. Just like what that TV show says; just add water."
"WHO YOU CALLIN' UNCLE POPO???"
Slavic Goddess of love, but no one is really sure why she exist. She's a bit of an airhead, much like Aphrodite would be, but she's rougher around the edges. One of Jarilo's lovers, but basically acts like a tsundere.
"Car is not my name. It's Lada."
The headstrong twin sister of Apollo and Goddess of many things, she's also partly quite a feminazi and will strike any man would stare at her due to her paranoia. If anyone brings up anything about her having a boyfriend(Orion) in the past, or falling in love, she can't help but be flustered and run away.
"I REALLY/HATE/MEN!"
"Quit staring at me! Unless you want an arrow on the head!"
"(Sighs) My twin brother is being an idiot again, let me handle this..... HAY- YAH!(Knocks Apollo asleep)"
The one who explains everything in the myths, I want the narrator to sound similar to the one in Hetalia, at least the tone sounds the same.
"When Jarilo(Ya-Ree-Low) was little boy, he grew up living in the underworld with his nasty stepfather, Veles, everyone just turn blind eye on him because he just looks too cute to be scolded, and also because no one wants doomsday today."
"According to Apollonius, Eros tried to shoot his arrows to the virgin Goddesses, but it seemed that they were immune to his spells, now that explains why Eros is too afraid of shooting at Artemis, Athena, and Hestia."
"To summarize everything in this myth, Jason was an asshole."
Hypnos, the god of sleep, and also one of Eros' bestfriends, along with Dionysus. He's fairly shy and quiet at most, but he's also terribly creepy. He once fell in love with a mortal man named Endymion and was put to eternal sleep, and guess what he did? He opened that guy's eyes and stared at his eyes for a long time!
"(Yawns) Don't wake me up..... I dun' wanna go today......"
"I'm sorry, I couldn't help staring at Endymion's eyes... t-they're just too nice...."
"Give it up already, brother.... let's just.... (yawns) sleep this away....."
Quite a fitting title, but we really don't know what his name is.
"Do you know where the nearest human toilet is?"
"AAARGH!!! I THINK I JUST BROKE MY FUNNY BONE!"
Ah, Freyja, the sweet and beautiful goddess of love and passion... and also the goddess of war and death. She is so pretty it makes even Aphrodite beg and cry of how jealous she is. But, she doesn't even know who was her husband, but he does call himself Od/Odr(which we may assume that this is actually Odin in disguise, we will never know), very emotional, and is also among the deities that have actually met Jarilo in the past, they probably get along very well since they are both the mixes of unlikely.
"I really want to know who was my husband..."
"Apologies Aphrodite, I didn't mean to scare off your lovers."
"I may be a woman, but if I were a man, trust me, I'd have bigger balls than you do."(The tough girl/tomboy voice)
The god of peaceful death and the twin brother of Hypnos. Apparently a lot of mortals stereotyping him as being deadly, which he definitely isn't. He's a peaceful god and really does not mean any harm, so he really hates the mortals in the modern day.
"I swear these mortals... this is why I hate mortals nowadays..."
"Immortality can be granted, but I will warn you that mortals rarely get satisfied over immortality, it may be too strong to handle emotionally."
"Brother, why do you enjoy being with those two idiots?"
Fangirls for the hottest gods around, because they can't be hot unless someone calls 'em hot.
*FANGIRL SCREAMS*
"Oh my gosh! (Insert name of a known beautiful and popular god, ex. Jarilo, Apollo) is sooooooooo HAWT!!!111"
"MAKE BABIEZ WITH ME!!!"
The good-looking, yet effeminate god of wine, drama, and partying. Of course, he is always the life of the party. He is the main god of the Sexy-Night Trio, which includes Eros and Hypnos as the other two. Being brought up as a girl in the past, some of his strange habits still remain.
"Why is this...... oh wow..... hehe~..... why is there...... like... two flyin' Eroses..? Soooooooooo.. cooooooooool~~" (Extremely drunk)
"Now, let's get this party started!"
"Oh? Did someone just call me an ugly bastard? Oh why thank you! I can say the same with you as well~!"
Your all-time favorite witch of the east, Baba Yaga. She's not a Goddess, but she is definitely one of the henchmen of Morana. Though a minor character, she is going to show up as background characters. For her, she is going to have a stereotypical witch voice.
*Insert Witch Cackle here*
"I believe we need another... long talk with you, Koschei, you need another reminder of who's the boss here." (pr. Koh-Shey)
"HASTA LA VISTA, JARO-BITCH!" (More witch cackles)
Hermaphroditus is the god, er, goddess of Hermaphrodites. He-- She-- they weren't born like this, in fact, it wasn't Hermaphroditus' choice. Hermaphroditus was once a beautiful man, who loved hunting, until an obsessive nymph decides to ask the gods for her to become one with the god. It was taken literally, now Hermaphroditus has to live in the borderline between man and woman.
"Hands off, satyr, this body's not for you to toy with, thank you very much."
"Hey! It wasn't my choosing to become like this! So shut up!"
"Swim on that pool of water, I dare you."
The speedy Gonzales of the Greco-Roman team. He's the said fastest god, and also the patron of athleticism. Because of how busy he gets with sending messages to the gods and guiding the dead to the underworld, he results to stealing as his primary hobby.
"Yesterday was extremely busy! I've been burning my sandals off! Say, does anyone have spare wings to fix my sandals? That would be great!"
"GOTTA GO FAST~!"
"Pfft, I had my Caduceus before wands were cool."
Daddy's little girl... yes, she is definitely the favorite of Zeus, yet he is also afraid of her because of the prophecy of being overthrown. Like Dionysus, Athena was among the cases of strange births, because, well, she popped out of Zeus' head fully grown and armored.
"Why are men such babies? I could just laugh about it all day!"
"Poseidon, mortals don't drink saltwater, think again."
"Me? Overreacting? I think you mean paranoid. Being paranoid is not a bad thing, I'll have you know that paranoid people survive much longer than those who aren't!"
Freyr is the Norse/ Vanir god and rule she as the king of three realms. He's a lot friendlier and more open compared to his twin sister, Freya. Freyr I said alway joyful, but sometimes ends up acting like a priss, it's a adorable anyways.
"Theres always something about sunshine and rainbows that brightens up everyone's day! Don't you agree, Skirnir?"
(Overly dramatic) "Please, There's nothing you can do to ease my sorrow. My one true love, that giantess! We are two worlds apart! There's no way she's can love me or even see me from this far a distance!"
"Skirnir, please stop threatening people to get what you want."
The loyal servant of Freyr, he is also his childhood friend. Even though he is technically a god, no one is really sure what he is.
"SkIRniR, PleASe STop tHREaTENInG peOplE to GeT wHAt YOu wAnT." (Yes, he's literally mocking Freyr)
"Eh, fine, I'll ask Freyr about why he's being such a drama queen. I already know I will not like the answer."
"MARRY HIM, BITCH!"
Prometheus, the creator of the human race. Despite being rebellious against Zeus, he was kind enough to give us fire to make ourselves warm. I really don't see why he can't just ask for fire instead of asking for it though.
"Ssh, men. I know you are all cold, tired and weary. But don't worry, I will have you comfort in no time!"
"But Zeus, don't we have plenty of fire?"
"Oh come on, Athena, you know better!"
Epimetheus is the titan of afterthoughts and is the husband of Pandora and is, the first woman created. He is also the brother of Prometheus. Just like Prometheus, he is also skilled at crafting.
"Ah, she's so lovely... thank you Zeus! I am very fond of her!"
"I must admit though... I am a bit jealous of my brother. But, oh well."
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