Abridgemental - An Abridged Anthology
Project Overview
Hey, how's it going? I'm Doktor Applejuce, and I've recently come up with the idea of making an abridged anthology. What's an abridged anthology, you ask? Well, it's basically, putting together a collection of unrelated scenes from different anime (often mixing and matching), and abridging them each as their own individual one-shots. Think of it as something in the vein of Sanity Not Included or Robot Chicken, but for anime (and, hopefully, funnier).
I've been wanting to start a second abridged series for some time now, but I haven't been able to decide which series to abridge. With this, I won't have to choose just one.
Please, audition for multiple characters, as there will be many, and each character won't have very many lines.
Note: More characters will be added as new scenes are written.
Warning: Like any parody abridgement, this one will contain mature language and humour. DO NOT audition if you're sensitive.
This will eventually be published on my Abridgement page, which is here: https://www.youtube.com/c/DoktorApplejuceAbridged
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From: Death Note
Will be in a scene where he's arguing with Lelouch Lamperouge about the differences and similarities of their characters.
Oh come on, you don't see it? Morally grey geniuses, using supernatural abilities to rid the world of evil...?
(Offended) Hey! I, when I graduated High School, I scored first on the nationals!
(Annoyed) Hey, at least your eye-candy underling is actually useful for something! You've never had to spend extended periods of time in the presence someone as utterly infuriating as Misa Amane!
From: Bleach
Interpret as you'd like.
Okay, that's just not even true!
No, seriously, who came up with that crap?
From: Death Note
Once again, interpret him as you'd like; though I would prefer a more serious tone on him.
Pay attention! We've got another message from Kira.
Put in the filing cabinet with all the other fan mail. Note to self; get a larger filing cabinet.
From: Akame ga Kill
Since the lines for her are a bunch of terrible puns, I'm looking for a playful/humorous tone to her voice.
All I did was give him... the cold shoulder
Okay, seriously? You need to chill out. Chill... get it?
Oh, him? He was too cool to live.
From: Pokemon
No preference for her either.
No, no, I agree. this just got really uncomfortable.
Don’t bother struggling. I’ll only tie the ropes tighter if you do.
From: Pokemon
I would prefer a slightly older voice than most people are used to for him; something in the teens or young adult range.
Heh! I like where this is going! Safe word’s ‘artichoke', alright?
You there, blue hair; you look like a biter. Please tell me you bite.
From: Hellsing Ultimate (Also, Hellsing, but we'll just pretend that never happened).
If you're familiar with abridging, you're more than likely familiar with the character, even if you haven't seen either anime.
(Side note; do you have any idea how difficult it is to find a decent quality image of this guy's face from Hellsing Utimate on Google search?)
Pffft! No! God, you’re pathetic. Seriously, get the hell out of here.
Hey, buddy, you’re among friends here. You can pursue whatever it is your heart desires, and we will support you 100%.
From: Pokemon
No preference for him
I can’t tell if he’s joking or being serious right now.
You… you do realize that we're holding you hostage, right?
From: One Piece
Interpret her however you want. I have nothing specific in mind for her voice.
Luffy, where the hell are my Mikans?
Yeah, well, the interest rate on that loan has just doubled. Pay up.
Whatever that noise was, it seems to have stopped now.
From: Code Geass
I'm not sure if this makes any sense, but I'm picturing reserved excitement in her voice as she says these lines.
Why has no one thought of this before?!
This is life altering!
If I was a man, I would be so erect right now...
From: Bleach
Looking for a voice that's deep and gravely; something that would sound intimidating, if it weren't for the fact that the lines call for a lack of heat.
You know, sometimes, I just want to take up crocheting, or tap dance, but I feel like I’ll be judged if I do.
(on the verge of bursting into tears) You guys are dicks!
From: Black Lagoon
Looking for something violent for her voice. Preferably a deeper female voice.
I once wedged an entire grenade up some dude’s ass and watched him explode! It was like Christmas came early!
And take your purse too, you god damned wimp!
From: Code Geass
I'm looking for some extremely energetic and rapid-fire voice acting for her. (Yes, that's supposed to be one massive run-on sentence below).
So, I was like, talking to Milly the other day, and she was saying that I should stop eating my deodorant, but I was like 'but, I want fresh breath', and she was all like, 'then use mouthwash, like a normal human being', but I was like 'mouthwash has alcohol, and alcohol has calories', but she didn't seem to understand that I'm trying to watch my weight. Like, how inconsiderate can you be?
From: Claymore
Some sort of voice emulating a 12-13 year old boy just hitting puberty. And let's have him be a little bit timid and apprehensive. After all, he's just some kid, with no fighting skills whatsoever, in the middle of a monster-infested desert, with an insane woman as his only companion.
Just a thought… but maybe if you didn’t sing while we’re in Yoma territory, that would be pretty great.
Maybe all the Yoma in a ten mile radius wouldn’t be immediately alerted to our presence that way.
From: Code Geass
Will be in a scene where he's arguing with Light about the differences and similarities of their characters.
Please, please, for the love of god, do NOT emulate the English Dub. Never have I heard a role so mercilessly butchered. If possible, maybe aim for the same vocal range as Jun Fukuyama's portrayal of Lelouch.
(Scathingly) Oh please! You aren't even in my league!
You were outsmarted by a midget albino who hasn't even hit puberty! I had to plan my own assassination, because no one else was capable of doing it!
That could apply to literally 20% of all anime protagonists out there!
From: One Piece
Once again, I have nothing specific in mind for her. Interpret her as you'd like.
You've never seen the aftermath of a sandstorm in Alabasta , have you? Let's put it this way: The sand gets everywhere. Everywhere!
No, Luffy, the sun does not have a baby's face in the middle of it. ...Seriously, Sanji, what the hell are you feeding him?
From: Shingeki no Kyojin
Not a whole lot of preference with her, but in her scene, I want her to sound like she's very much tired of hearing Jean talk.
Oh god, what is it now, Jean?
Look, Jean, I don't have the time or the crayons to explain this to you, so please do me a huge favour and screw the hell off!
From: Shingeki no Kyojin
Looking for a very cocky tone; one that doesn't copy the one used by TFS in their short-lived Shingeki no Kyojin Abridged.
Hey, Mikasa es su casa... Aha! Oh, that was clever! And I just thought of it on the spot too! Ah... I crack me up. Do I crack you up? Of course I do.
Listen babe, what do you say me and you go get lost somewhere?
From: Bleach
Once more; interpret as you please.
(sultry) What? Don't tell me you've never seen a woman before.
(bewildered) Seriously? That's what you're concerned about? Are you kidding me right now?!
(offended) Okay, you know what? You can learn bankai on your own, you prick!
From: Claymore
So, for this one, you're going to have to sing. Don't worry if you're tone-deaf; I think I'd actually prefer it that way.
So, this is the song you'll be singing:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eN7dYDYfvVg
I can swing my sword, sword,
Sword, my giant sword, sword!
Once I hit the floor boards
But I had it restored
And it was expensive
But it was a write off!
From: Death Note
I don't really have anything in particular in mind for him, so; surprise me.
So... Are you uh... Planning on eating all of those apples?
Wow. You're kind of rude.
They put pineapples on pizza all the time. Why can't they just put on regular apples?
From: Spice and Wolf
I'm looking for a bored, almost lifeless voice to her. Think something along the lines of Ayanami Rei.
No. Go away.
You look like Sid Vicious and Marylin Manson popped out a bastard love-child.
I am very much aware of this fact.
From: Berserk
The MANLIEST of men! A true Adonis of our times. Looking for something brutal! Or, you know; what ever.
God, I love being such a BRUTAL character! I got a kick ass sword, I got bulging muscles, and... oh! I get to violently kill as many bad guys I want! It’s so AWESOME!
Being brutal is... um... BRUTAL!
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