I really like your intensity! If we could get you to redo these and focus a bit more on the inflection and pacing, that'd be awesome! Team really likes what you posted.
Will do, thanks for the feed back, although if possible, could you be a bit more detailed when you mean inflection?
That's a note from my team. Essentially what they meant was that they would like to you think about how you would say these to someone's face. Screaming, Pointing, and Desiring Blood/Justice(1). Genuine praise and a genuine offer, almost as if you were greedy for someone else's sake(2). And rubbing it in, being smug, feeling like you've won, and generally just being a sore winner about it. Laughing at someone else's expense(3).
Okay, thanks! Will re-do tonight~!