So it’s my second date with Alex, right? It was my turn to choose a place to eat, so I pick out this amazing Ethiopian restaurant that I like to go to. A typical spread would include a sour flatbread called injera that is used to dip into an assortment of dishes like curries, meat, vegetables, bean dips, lots of things. His eyes get wide when they set the food down, and I’m thinking he’s surprised by the amount of food, when he says...

Narrating: So he proceeds to eat with his hands...as if he’s never had a damn taco or slice of pizza before, leaving behind a huge mess all over the table. Mercifully we make it through the meal without further incident and leave.

Wait, are you talking about ME? 

Narrating: Alex nods emphatically like I'm an idiot to ask such a question.

I'm not Hispanic, I'm fucking half-Asian. (Sigh) You know what? Let’s just...go to the froyo place at the end of the block.