Homestuck Voices (Singing+Voice Acting Group)
AbacusWizard for John Egbert
John is a baritone. His voice is a bit high and nasal, but definitely not annoying. He's a huge nerd with a penchant for humor and mischief.
A description from the wiki: "John is an honest and straightforward kid, with a particular fascination in pranks. He is generally absent-minded, and will often overlook the possible consequences of a hasty or underthought action. He has a rather short temper, and often reacts childishly when he is angered."
(spoken, only EB/John's part)
EB: huh...
EB: yeah, i guess now that you mention it, i am finding it all a little strange...
CG: OH, ONLY JUST NOW???
CG: FUCK YOU ARE FAST, I HOPE YOU GOT THE MAD BOONBUCKS TO PAY OFF THOSE SPEEDING TICKETS.
EB: no, no, i mean the ghost stuff and paradoxes are one thing of course...
EB: it's something else.
EB: it's just...
EB: this is really weird...
CG: WHAT'S SO WEIRD ABOUT IT.
EB: well, normally humans hatch...
EB: from like these slimy pods.
EB: then we wriggle out as a little pink larva.
CG: OH REALLY.
CG: HUH, MAYBE WE HAVE MORE IN COMMON THAN I THOUGHT.
EB: (hehehehehehehe)
CG: MAYBE THOSE REALLY ARE MUTANT CLONES AND THEY AREN'T GOING BACK TO SEED YOUR PLANET???
EB: um...
EB: sure...?
CG: HELL, I'M CONFUSED NOW.
CG: NOT THAT I GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOU AND YOUR POINTLESS AWFUL LIVES.
EB: hey, i have an idea.
EB: why don't you get back to me in a few minutes?
EB: i mean like a few minutes of my time, not yours.
EB: all of these little pink monkeys are getting way out of line and i have to tend to them.
EB: if you message me in a couple minutes, we can continue conversing in a sane, linear fashion for a change!
CG: UM, OK?
EB: and then after that you can keep going backwards and then make fun of me riding my little red rocket.
EB: you can tell me i look like a silly little paradox clone fresh out of my slime tube and this is just all a big nurseytime recess jamboree.
EB: that would burn me good!
CG: OK THAT IS PRETTY GOOD.
CG: BUT I CAN'T USE IT, BECAUSE YOU SAID IT, AND THEN LATER, I.E. RIGHT NOW, YOU WOULD GET THE SATISFACTION OF KNOWING YOU WERE THE ONE TO COME UP WITH THAT BURN.
CG: SEE, YOU ARE DEALING WITH A PRO, YOU CAN'T OUT TROLL ME SO JUST FORGET ABOUT IT AND STOP TRYING.
EB: (hehehehehehehehehehehe)An upbeat, exciting song!
A slower, more melancholy song.
