Feedback, you say? Well the first thing I noticed was that it seemed a bit breathy. If you want (or can), you could watch the episode in Netflix to get a sense of what he sounds like. (The Japanese version, that is) you don't have to sound EXACTLY the same, just as long as you get the tone/attitude right.
Also see if you can talk a bit faster. Oh and also see if you can audition for as many extras as possible. (Please. I need all the extras I can get)
Got it!!! I will try my best. Thank you so much for your feedback!
No prob