excuse me. its not a vwand. you knovw perfectly vwell my vwizarding days are behind me. its called a "human cigarette" and apparently youre supposed to set it on fire.

although if you ask me, burning it seems like a vwaste of a perfectly good and cool "cigarette.

just admit it. you havwe it vwithin you to be just as harsh to our behelmeted buddy as i am, if not more.

youre right. my feelings really are real. not fake, like the huge disappointing fraud that magic turned out to be.

i guess the truth is, deep dowvn i alvways knewv i vwas a 1950s-style human greaser.