[Curious] So… how did you and Jim meet, Iona?

[Curious again] So… how long have you and Jim been together?

[Slightly defensive] I’m just asking

[happily] You’re up.

[hands up] [slightly defensive] Hold up. I wasn’t saying that to be mean.

[Interested] There’s Netflix.

 [weirded out] Uh… okay.

[Bored] I don’t know I just turned it on.

[Curious] So… you and Jim are together.

[Amused] I guess you guys haven’t fucked yet.

[Arrogant] No, no. I bet Jim isn’t even worried about you. Wouldn’t you like some of my attention? Maybe even a nice fuc— 

[is really up close to her] [Suggestively] [whisper] Just let me kiss your precious neck—

[Freaking out] She just went batshit crazy on me, man! I swear I didn’t—

[Shout in pain] Ah!!!