MALE VOICE ACTORS & EXTRAS NEEDED FOR [SIMS 4!!!] JIM AND I MACHINIMA

I WANT YOU TO SEND ME YOU [VOICE ACTOR] SAYING THIS MONOLOGUE:

You know how in school when you’re young, and you read these stories that always have some sort of moral to them. But the thing is, the teacher never tells you how important these stories are to life.

I can recall a story that’s stayed in my head, ever since I was a kid. It goes like this, 

"One winter a Farmer found a Viper frozen and numb with cold, and out of pity picked it up and placed it in his bosom. The Viper was no sooner revived by the warmth, then it turned upon its benefactor and inflicted a fatal bite upon him; and as the poor man lay dying, he cried, 'I have only got what I deserved, for taking compassion on so villainous a creature.”

I never knew how true that story was until now.

EMAIL  ME WITH AN AUDIO OF YOU SAYING THESE WORDS:

E Garrett: Do you regret it? Regret what? That’s what I wanted to ask Dorothy when she woke up from that fucked up dream of hers. Did she ever regret taking that damn witches advice.

[says in a girly high-pitched voice]

“It's always best to start at the beginning – and all you do is follow the Yellow Brick Road.”

[end of quote]

But you know what, if I were Dorothy. I would say,

[high-pitched girly voice]

No. But the thing I do regret, is not killing Glinda when I had the chance. Yeah. That’s it.

[end of quote]

People are so fucked up, aren’t they?

1. [confused] What the hell, man?! 

2. [say this is an unconvincing way] I don’t know those people.

3. [defensive]  I don’t know who the hell you’re talking about.

4. Like I said—

5. [laughs nervously] Fine... fine... they’re somewhere up in Michigan in one of those small ass towns. I think the town is called Grits... ugh they... I mean E Garrett he owns a few places up there... he’s always frequenting some bar called Easy’s...

6. [scared] I swear on my girlfriends dog’s grave that I am.

7.  [angrily] Shut the hell up!

[frustrated] You said that last time, too!

[arrogantly] How much?

[impatiently] HEY! I NEED TO PISS! HURRY UP!

[friendly] And we're just kind of knocking around doors to see if anyone would like to come.

[friendly] There's gonna be alcohol... music... games...

[caught off guard] Wait--

[Suggestively] That new waitress is a hotty, ain’t she?

[Suggestively] I wonder what those legs can do—

[Flirty]Thanks, babe.

[Sighs] But she’s still hot.

[Impatiently] Wake up, man!

[Happily] Yeah. She has a nice pair of legs.

[Unimpressed] she’s a bitch tho.

[Scared] Alfredo, a girl and guy need to talk to you

[Scared] I saw them carrying guns

[Curious] So… how did you and Jim meet, Iona?

[Curious again] So… how long have you and Jim been together?

[Slightly defensive] I’m just asking

[happily] You’re up.

[hands up] [slightly defensive] Hold up. I wasn’t saying that to be mean.

[Interested] There’s Netflix.

 [weirded out] Uh… okay.

[Bored] I don’t know I just turned it on.

[Curious] So… you and Jim are together.

[Amused] I guess you guys haven’t fucked yet.

[Arrogant] No, no. I bet Jim isn’t even worried about you. Wouldn’t you like some of my attention? Maybe even a nice fuc— 

[is really up close to her] [Suggestively] [whisper] Just let me kiss your precious neck—

[Freaking out] She just went batshit crazy on me, man! I swear I didn’t—

[Shout in pain] Ah!!!

I WANT YOU TO SEND ME YOU [VOICE ACTOR] SAYING THIS MONOLOGUE:

You know how in school when you’re young, and you read these stories that always have some sort of moral to them. But the thing is, the teacher never tells you how important these stories are to life.

I can recall a story that’s stayed in my head, ever since I was a kid. It goes like this, 

"One winter a Farmer found a Viper frozen and numb with cold, and out of pity picked it up and placed it in his bosom. The Viper was no sooner revived by the warmth, then it turned upon its benefactor and inflicted a fatal bite upon him; and as the poor man lay dying, he cried, 'I have only got what I deserved, for taking compassion on so villainous a creature.”

I never knew how true that story was until now.