"I can't stand how you're having so much fun by yourselves. Allow me to enjoy the sunshine of youth with these beautiful, young girls."

"Being roommates means that she'd be sleeping right next to me at night. What am I supposed to do? Just imagine her sitting on her bed in her pajamas after a shower. I'd get on top of her without a second thought!"

"I'll show no mercy upon anyone who dares to break the steady flow of my happy utopia."