Try to act out the lines. It sounds like you are just reading out loud rather than voice "acting". Try to put yourself in the grunts' shoes and be immersed in the role. Also your mic quality could be improved (lots of background/static noise). Thanks for auditioning! I appreciate your time!
Thank you so much for the criticism I really appreciate it. Id be happy to send in a new audition considering I was pretty tired when I was doing that audition and ill try to improve my mic quality with maybe a gaming headset instead of my mic.
Please do if it's not too much trouble. I'm open to 2nd takes.