For this audition to fit Captain Falcon, we'll unfortunately need to change a lot of things. I recommend giving the provided voice reference link a look to see what I'm generally looking for. Falcon has to have a lot of energy and gusto, so giving that same energy and gusto is very important. A New York-like accent would help make you sound closer to what he sounds like. You may also need to make your voice sound older, too. Be careful when you say "precious", because you seem to make a plosive, which is where the mic blasts out the "p" sound.