[Pippin needs the bathroom] (“Ma’am—please—where’s the washroom? I really—”) (Mei, eyes on her crossword, points without looking.) Down the hall. To the left. (Pippin sprints. Mei blows a gum bubble.) You’ll need the key. (She whips the key in his direction—off-screen THUNK.) (“AGH!”) You’re welcome.

[Jason and the broken slushie machine] (“Mei? The slushie machine is broken again.”) (Mei is reading a Hunks in Trunks magazine, completely unbothered.) Did you try… whispering affirmations to it? (“Uh—okay.”) (beat) (“It didn’t work.”) (Mei finally looks up, unimpressed.) Did you try… not being an idiot?

[Smile Mart “Robbery”] ("O–okay! Everybody stay calm! This is—uh—this is a robbery! A very real, very dangerous robbery!") Excuse me? ("…Now, if you could just act scared and maybe scream a little? For realism.") Get out of my store. (She grabs a broom.) ("AH—NO—MA’AM, PLEASE DON’T BRING A BROOM INTO THIS!") (She swings at him, he barely dodges.) ("ACK!") I’ve chased out raccoons scarier than you. ("Wow, okay—rude! Also deeply unhelpful!") (He trips over a snack display.) ("Okay, full disclosure: this is actually my first robbery, and honestly? I’m not loving the vibes so far!") You picked the wrong place, kid! ("I KNOW, I’M REALIZING THAT IN REAL TIME!") Realize that faster, please! (He holds up his hands, dodging, catching, and getting smacked by her broom.) ("Listen—listen—this is just a setup! I fake the crime, then I swoop in, save the day, everyone claps… maybe the principal gives me a speech—") ARE YOU STUPID? YOU’RE STILL ROBBING ME! ("TECHNICALLYYYYY—YES—but also no?!") (She swings one last time.) ENOUGH—WOAH! (She slips on a wet patch of floor, tumbles into a rack. Her broom flies up, spins… and bonks her on the head.) …Ow. (She looks up as a shelf starts collapsing.) Oh, you have GOT to be—(CRASH! The shelf topples onto her.)