(traumatized) “Well, I just went into Krampus’s room to pick up the tea cup I delivered to him last night, but when I got there his chopped off head was sitting on his berth just staring at me! (tears up) It was so scary! I hate death! I can’t stand it! Ever since my parents died when I was five, it feels like death just follows me wherever I go!”

(crushing) "No, really! I mean it! I really liked talking with you. (pause, obviously waiting to be asked out) Well, err, I better get off to my shift. I’ll see you on the train, though. Bye, Grandpa Josh."

(terrified) (Screams) Detective! Detective! IT – IT HAPPENED AGAIN! MURDER! THERE’S BEEN TWO MORE MURDERS, DETECTIVE! I WENT IN THERE TO CLEAN AND THEY WERE JUST LYING THERE!”