I really like the energy on yours, but you could do with a bit more flow in your speech, try not to sound like your reading off the script (what helps me is to memorize and then just act like your talking to someone while doing the voice). Sonic is also a really casual guy, pronouncing the word "a" should sound more like "uh" IE: "I told you this one was a (uh) snoozefest." I hope this helps!