(Please audition with three takes of each line!) 

The non-binary doomscroller! 

19 year old Skittles lives with their parents, a jobless student with no extracurricular past high school and faulty grades. Their professors all tell them the same thing: The sooner you give your phone a rest, the sooner you can finish your assignments. They are always late to arrive with their work, leading to some pretty disappointed people in their life. They used to be an artist, but their output was so slow and the finished product started to look so sloppy that people stopped buying. They used to make music on the piano, but stopped practicing. Candy became their crutch… until their teeth got all fucked up and braces became a necessity. Now there’s no substance in the world that can save them. No substance except good old fashioned doomscrolling. That instant serotonin is a blessing. They have no goal for the money aside from get rich, but becoming more famous than their ex girlfriend is a good goal, too. Just don’t point out their braces.

Fried American voice with a hint of their Mexican childhood peeping through their accent.