“There was this girl in one of my classes. She was cool. Real cool. Too cool. So, obviously, as a guy does, I found out more about her. It started innocently enough, but I did sorta start following her around. She found out. I know, lame, right? Anyways, that’s why I’m here. I know I shouldn’t have done what I did, but how could you blame me?”

“This is Skittles The Cow. I won first prize with her at the NPC, that’s the National Puppet Competition by the way. Say hi, Skittles! Ooh, hello, everyone! You’re all so mo-o-osical! It’s mo-o-osic to my ears! Hahaha! Oh, you’re such a goose, Skittles! …Sorry. I do that a lot.”

“Do you ever wonder how infinite the universe really is? How far it spans? How unimportant we all seem in the grand scheme of things? It’s interesting, it is. How our lives could change with one singular decision, and each choice we make leads to success or leads to failure. Technically, that means there could be infinite dimensions that each have their own consciousness, so technically, we’ll never die. So none of this means anything! Isn’t that interesting?”