Yes. Listen my name isn’t Jim. It’s Roberto Hernandez. I just want to let mi familia know that I am ok—

Today’s recipe is called tomato sandwich. (reading off a script) You combine two gluten food sheets with one tomato food sheet. The key is to put the tomato food sheet in between the two gluten food sheets, and you eat them. (listless) It is so delicious and fun for the whole family unit.

(defeated and singsong like) I am grateful for the government who discovered my crime. I am grateful for the chance to donate my time. I am grateful for the bombs that I help build, I am grateful for the terrorists our country has killed. I am grateful for the opportunity to serve the state. I am grateful for the opportunity to become great.