“You have two options: come quietly… or come sassily. Either way, you’re coming. And no, that’s not an innuendo. Yet.”

“You think I enjoy playing babysitter in a palace full of estrogen bombs and conspiracy farts? Your face says ‘why?’... mine says ‘therapy’s for the rich.’ We’re both screwed.”

“Forget justice. I’d lace the teapot with regret and arsenic just to make this conversation take a permanent nap.”