Marley was dead.

This is a thoroughly uplifting start to any story I’m sure you will agree, although it should be noted that if Marley were not dead from the outset then he would have to die sometime around now or we would not be able to have a tale at all. On the whole it is better to begin with someone dead than having to find a suitably macabre, clever and visually pleasing way to pop them off. This is Dickens not Agatha Christie!

Scrooge spun around with the finesse of a ballet champion, and raised his cane ready to hospitalise someone. There was no one there. Turning back to the door, Scrooge noticed something strange about this door-knocker. Those bloody charity workers had stolen it and replaced it with a hockey mask. He made a mental note to hunt them down in the morning.

Scrooge stepped back from the window. He could surely not have just seen what he thought he had. One of the ghosts had been naked!