Not bad. Your first "code red dance floor" was best, so if I do use that, I'd just play that clip twice and delete the second one. It's the best so far, though if I were to improve this, I'd say "Patron has punched a woman in the face" seems to be spoken in the same tone of voice as "You can buy two pies for $6 today". I'm not going to tell you how to sound, because thinking about how you sound will make you sound even worse, but try to imagine you just saw a man punch a woman in the face for absolutely no reason. Keep that image in mind as you record, and how you sound will take care of itself.

Also, guards show up to work sick all the time. It didn't hurt the quality of your performance at all. I couldn't even tell.