Evolution’s survival of the fittest, right? But now, because of technology… you don’t have to be strong to survive. Which means there’s never been a better time in history to be a loser! So own it! 
Seriously, what’s up with you? You’ve been acting shady ever since… since… It worked, didn’t it? Jeremy! That’s amazing! We gotta test it, we gotta celebrate, we gotta – get stoned in my basement! 
 I mean, what’s not on the internet? So I started asking around. Finally, this guy I play Warcraft with… told me how his brother went from a straight D student to a freshman at Harvard. You know where he is now? He’s in a mental hospital. Totally lost it.

(Part from Michael in the Bathroom)I am hanging in the bathroom at the biggest party of the fallI could stay right here or disappear, and nobody'd even notice at allI'm a creeper in a bathroom 'cause my buddy kinda left me aloneBut I'd rather fake pee than stand awkwardly, or pretend to check a text on my phoneEverything felt fine when I was half of a pairNow through no fault of mine, there's no other half thereNow I'm just Michael in the bathroom, Michael in the bathroom, at a partyForget how long it's beenI'm just Michael in the bathroom, Michael in the bathroom at a party

16 bars of any musical theatre song