New World Adventures EMERGENCY RECAST!
cordeux for Kevar
This is a submission, not an audition. If I like your lines, you will be in the book, and you'll get a copy of the book delivered to an address of your choosing. No further recording required.
Full context:
“I could show ya’ how ta wield it,” said the man holding a dagger to Gwenevere’s throat.
“Ya’ surrounded!” said Kevar, another fireball forming above his hand. “Give the girl or ya’ all die!”
Extra comments:
Kevar is cocky. He likes his job, and the thought of things not going exactly his way doesn't even occur to him. I know his lines don't sound that funny, but he still thinks he is. To really get in the zone for this role, think of the most fun and joyful day you've ever had at the expense of someone you've truly hated. That's the frame of mind you need to be in to play as Kevar.
Common error:
Tenfold is said "TENfold" not "tenFOLD". The "ten" is the important part, because it's different than being paid "ninefold" or "elevenfold". The folding bit isn't the important bit of tenfold.
“I could show ya’ how ta wield it,”
“She ain’t worth it matey. Run a long and tell ’em that Kevar is takin’ care of ‘er now. I know how much you was paid, but he’ll prolly pay us tenfold.”“Drop it dwarf! Or tell ya’ boss ya’ got ‘er killed!”"Huh!" (winded from being elbowed in the gut)
“Ya’ surrounded!” “Give the girl or ya’ all die!”
Now that's what I'm always telling people, it's better to take your instructions too far than not far enough. If you go too far, the director will tell you to resubmit. If you don't go far enough, the director will think you can't act. I didn't think it was even possible, but you made Kevar TOO cocky. He sounds almost as if he's relaxing on a sofa while casually holding a knife to a woman's throat and casting fireballs. You can't get more cocky than that! Kevar's lines should be much faster. His job is all about the element of surprise and threatening people. A threat is no good if you can't finish your threat before some hero decides to fire a crossbow at you, so speaking as fast as possible is vital to your survival chances as a bandit. Also, Kevar may be selfish, but he does care about the welfare of his men enough to be more annoyed than that when one of them suffers a critical wound
Thanks for the feedback. I made another take and tried to take your points into account. Hopefully I don't sound as laid back!