Hello. Thank you for auditioning. Firstly If you could, could you re audition with better mic quality as you stated that it is usually better? I can't take word of mouth in auditions. Now to critiquing, I think the the pitch is too high and he doesn't have a commanding or charismatic tone or value. Ryoma is a strong and powerful leader, so he should sound tough (but not so tough that he sounds like a monster) It also seems in general that the acting is lacking in emotion. It generally sounds a tad monotonous throughout and it really sticks on in the last line, where its supposed to be loving and caring. This best way to describe how to avoid this is, if you imagines yourself really saying these lines to friends or loved ones, how would you actually sound like? Then I would take those qualities from reality and apply them in character. Great work and I hope to see you audition for more parts! There is Ignatius you could try if you want a slightly younger voice.