Ladies and gentlemen! I see some sexy faces around here tonight! Welcome, welcome, to Ozzie's: Lust ring's number 1 place for all kinds of sick twisted fantasies. Put on display for all you 'Sleaze' and 'Sleazettes'. The gin joint of Asmodeus himself! C'mon, give him some LOVE!

I'm the one and only Fizzarolli. Some of you might recognize this dashing clown face from my numerous toy-botic replicas across the rings of Hell. Gloriously designed by the big man himself, and uh... ribbed for your pleasure tonight. We have a great lineup for you tonight, Verosika Mayday, Wet Dream, and The Squirterz!"

But, as everyone's warming up, I got a funny one for y'all: Did any of you hear about the bat-shittery that happened at Loo Loo Land? Ha ha ha! Oh, yeah Oh, wow. I'll tell you what: I'd sure love to shake the hand of the crazy son of a bitch who decided to burn down that off brand shithole and then slap a fat subpoena in it, 'cause I am VERY MUCH looking to sue! That robo-me made us more money entertaining those kids than the ones we sell to get you freaks off, if you know what I mean.