“Children? I’m treating you like the Sixth House Warden and his cavalier, neither of whom have been trained to survive a Blood of Eden hot seat. Don’t think because Camilla’s carrying you that you’d have an easy ride. You have no idea what B.O.E. torture is like, and we don’t have the five years I’d need to teach you.”

[describing a shirt, apologetically] “Uh, okay, so, I hadn’t cleared this with the powers that be, but it was a picture of a moustache—like the facial hair, but a cartoon?—and then there were words below it. Look, you had to see it, I’m not sure I can describe it in a way that… It advertised cheap moustache rides. We’re talking low prices.”