Absolutely insane take. I say you killed it. The only thing that could have been better "I will freaking kill you", could be more sneaky. More sounding like you try to keep your temper in check, but ultimately it bursts free anyway. Kinda push the words through your teeth a little you know? Sick stuff either way. Hope you get the role. :D
Thanks! I see whatcha mean, hopefully I get the chance to incorporate it c: