HOMESTUCK: Project Balderdash (PART I)
BlitzKrieg for Equius Zahhak
If Sollux is the model nerd, then Equius is the model basement-dwelling Redditor. Gifted with truly cosmic strength and a mind for engineering, Equius is equal parts off-puttingly awkward and off-puttingly societally conservative, prone to spectacularly uncomfortable episodes of profuse sweating when in the presence of any remotely uncomfortable subject matter. His voice should be deep and deliberate, but ready to dive squarely into flustered awkwardness at any moment.
EQUIUS: This is f001ishness upon one hundred thousand prior, equally unsolicited f001ishnesses
EQUIUS: I think I should get a towelEQUIUS: I'm perspiring heavily again
EQUIUS: This isEQUIUS: Impropriety of a caliber I cannot even
EQUIUS: It's
EQUIUS: You are as low on the hemospectrum as possible
EQUIUS: To consider that someone so low could be in a position of authority over me is
EQUIUS: It's just so
EQUIUS: Disgusting
