HOMESTUCK: Project Balderdash (PART I)
BlitzKrieg for The Midnight Crew
The rest of Slick's crew, consisting of Clubs Deuce, Diamonds Droog, and Hearts Boxcars. Deuce is simple and childlike, going about his job impersonally; Droog is ruthless and efficient, but the model of professionalism; and Boxcars (alias the Hegemonic Brute) is surly and short-tempered...as well as gigantic. These fine folks aren't exactly gifted with a lot of lines, so go with whatever voices seem right for their personalities. As always, stereotypical gangster accents are welcome.
DEUCE: You got it. Clubs Deuce it is. You have opened your BATTLEDROBE in search of your BACKUP HAT. You also need some ROPE to retie Doze, who is absolutely tearing through the mansion as we speak. If you don't hurry, he may clear the chair within the hour.
DROOG: You suddenly remember you are Diamonds Droog. Whoever took your hat is about to discover he is the unluckiest man on earth. He better hope you find him dead. What you're gonna do to him will be much less painful that way.
BOXCARS: You stop not being Hearts Boxcars. You have made your way to the Felt's SECRET VAULT. It's bigger than you were expecting. You doubt you will be able to rely on your usual safe-cracking method, which is prying it from the wall with your bare hands. You'll have to think of something else.
