"That's it. Almost there. Now presenting... the magic-tastical back flipping rubber duck! Haha! That spits fire! Hoo hoo hoo! Hold the applause please, okay. Oh, thank you, thank you. Oh god, who am I kidding? This sucks!"

"Daughter? Daughter! Daughter calling?! OH! Uhm uh, uh hello, Charlie. He-ey, hey, hey Char-Char. No, no! That's not good. Oh, this is the first time she's called you. Yes, this has to be perfect. "

"Well your first wife didn’t seem to hate what I had to offer, or the second, bowchika pow pow."