"Consider it an investment in ongoing entertainment for myself! I want to watch the scum of the world struggle to climb up the hill of betterment! Only to repeatedly trip, and tumble down to the fiery pit of failure."

"Well, my dear, I haven't been active in Hell for some time, and everyone remembers me from my radio show! The PROPER medium to express oneself. But you insisted on this! Noisy picture box advertisement. So, I had a little fun with it."

"Not for your soul, just a simple deal. I do this for you and you never ask me to engage with this frivolous television technology ever again. Or Charlie can come back to absolutely nothing. Your choice."