I'm starting to wonder if I should rewrite that first line. xP I really liked it! Specially that last delivery, the only negative I could point out is that there is a noticeable noise when you're in constant higher voice volume, most audible in the second line delivery, which seems a bit hard to filter out.
Writting specially instead of especially is bugging the heck out of me.
Is it a beeping noise? If so, then it can easily be removed if I record in a different place.
No, my english vocabulary is a bit limited into how I'd best describe it. Would comparing it to two piece of fabric softly rubbing into eachother make sense to you? It's a gentle static.
A stream of fine sand dropping might be a more apt description.