What kind of dialect were you using? It sounds mostly Standard North American, but I'm hearing something faint on top.
I had tried going for a very light Edinburgh as it was only one that I could try imitating.
The only suggestion I have is make your dialect thicker and if you have anything that can reduce the amount of room echo, that would really help.
Thanks for the suggestion! I'll have to try it again at home; I was at the library and I didn't have anything with me to act as a sound shell.