Alfred Hitchcock parody
CBVoiceover for Roles (male actors)
There are many supporting roles, they're small bits and pieces, so you'll perform multiple roles. The lines here are a sampling, I need to hear your ability to do distinctive, different characters. Depending on the role, they'll have a comedic English, French, Arabic or Eastern European accent. There's also an annoying seven year old boy. And, for one of the roles would be great if you can give me a Monty Python-ish / Kids in the Hall type older woman drag performance. By the way, if you can impersonate Hitchcock there's even that. Pick out what you'd like to perform and just do those audition lines.
FRENCHMAN: A thousand pardons, monsieur. But zee gentleman eez quite upset that ze driver eez distracted by your little boy...
I'll ask ze questions here! How eez it that out of five thousand people in a great market place - he knows to come to you when he eez about to die? I ask you, eez zat ze action of a casual acquaintance, monsieur?
BOY: (annoying 7 year old American brat) What about our song, mummy? Our song! Sing our song! Please, mummy? Please?... Oh yeah? Then what's so wrong with that?
LONDON PARISHIONER: (working-class) Though one might postulate, there's no point arguin' over it if it's all a preconceived plan, the Finis Ultimus conceived and according to the counsel of Jehovah's will he's infallibly determined shall be done since before the foundation of the world... Ain't nothin' can be done 'bout it, then. Not a thing. Not a thing at'all.
ENGLISH DETECTIVE: I'm Inspector Buchanan, Special Branch, Scotland Yard. No need to go through Customs. Will you come this way? Do sit down, won't you?... Let me say at once, we're shocked that you son was taken from you in Marrakesh.
LONDON BELLHOP: (working class) Welcome to London. Right then, here's a few tips. Don't let the fog, mist and rain fool you - the weather's a virtual gauntlet of horrors. Be extra cautious at the street crossings at Piccadilly Circus, unless you fancy shaving years off your life expectancy.
LONDON THEATRE IMPRESARIO: (over the top, brash, bigger than life) Darling! Welcome back to the civilized world! When I got your wire I couldn't believe it! What were you doing in a dreadful spot like Morocco? Plane crashed?
ALFRED HITCHCOCK: (obviously, in the voice of Alfred Hitchcock) Good evening. I too found the previous scene rather disturbing. The theatrical management wishes to apologize.
OLDER ENGLISH WOMAN: (older woman drag English accent) Oh, are you all right, dearie? In Marrakesh for your health, then? Though I wouldn't know what's so healthy about being in Marrakesh. The diesel fumes from the lorries and buses are carcinogenic, after some time yer face gets black with all the soot, you'd have to have yer adenoids surgically removed before they burst from fillin' up with all the exhaust particles.
EASTERN EUROPEAN: (comedic eastern European accent) I'm glad you're able to treat the matter so lightly. In a few minutes I have to welcome our Prime Minister as my guest of honor at the reception here - when I expected that he would be totally unable to attend! That amuses you, no doubt? You've muddled everything from the start. Kidnapping that child in Marrakesh! Don't you realize Americans dislike having their children kidnapped?
ENGLISH BOBBY: In that situation then I'm sorry to disappoint, ma'am, but we can't go in without probable cause.
