Alfred Hitchcock parody
Diana Helen Kennedy for Roles (female actors)
There are many supporting roles, they're small bits and pieces, so you'll perform multiple roles. The lines here are a sampling, I need to hear your ability to do distinctive, different characters. Depending on the role, they'll have a comedic English, French, Arabic or Eastern European accent. There's also an annoying seven year old boy. And, for one of the roles would be great if you can give me a Monty Python-ish / Kids in the Hall type older woman drag performance. Pick out what you'd like to perform and just do those audition lines.
OVER-THE-TOP, FAST-PACED PATTER SHOW BIZ TYPE: (American accent) Two minutes later Val was on the phone to me. And I had to call Jan to let her know, of course... Jan was all the rave of the West End!
OVER-THE-TOP, FAST-PACED PATTER SHOW BIZ TYPE: (English accent) She said she was working on a new musical based on "Oliver Twist" by Charles Dickens. Practically on her knees begging Val to produce the show! So Val asked her to sing him a tune from it.
LONDON PARISHIONER: (working-class) Though one might postulate, there's no point arguin' over it if it's all a preconceived plan, the Finis Ultimus conceived and according to the counsel of Jehovah's will he's infallibly determined shall be done since before the foundation of the world... Ain't nothin' can be done 'bout it, then. Not a thing. Not a thing at'all.
BOY: (annoying 7 year old American bratty boy) What about our song, mummy? Our song! Sing our song! Please, mummy? Please?... Oh yeah? Then what's so wrong with that?
OLDER ENGLISH WOMAN: (comedic British accent, can be "drag") Oh, are you all right, dearie? In Marrakesh for your health, then? Though I wouldn't know what's so healthy about being in Marrakesh. The diesel fumes from the lorries and buses are carcinogenic, after some time yer face gets black with all the soot, you'd have to have yer adenoids surgically removed before they burst from fillin' up with all the exhaust particles.
LONDON BELLHOP: (working class) Welcome to London. Right then, here's a few tips. Don't let the fog, mist and rain fool you - the weather's a virtual gauntlet of horrors. Be extra cautious at the street crossings at Piccadilly Circus, unless you fancy shaving years off your life expectancy.
