/r/ImmoralThrills Posted by CleanCurtis 

Inspired by all of your wonderfully disgusting memories, allow me to share with you a favourite thrill of mine and a memory. I call it “The Thrill of the Fail”. 

It is required to know, before I begin, that I’m a qualified first-aider. All of the opportunities the training’s provided me to indulge in my /ImmoralThrill, have been absolutely incredible. Would 100% recommend. 

My thrill, to be completely blunt with you, is: Allowing someone to die whilst their loved ones cling to the hope that I can save them. For me, the thrill comes not from the act itself, but from the surrounding emotions. I feed off their desperation, inevitable disappointment, and grieve. In these vulnerable moments, they cling and beg, putting their trust and faith in me. To break that faith, destroy that trust, right as their beloved fades before them, it’s pure ecstasy. Nothing like it. 

I remember one man; who’d had a heart attack in his car. His daughter had pulled him out and laid him between two cars. She called out and I came. I said all the right things from training to get her to believe in me. As she called 999, I did the counts “1..2..3..” all the way to thirty, but pressing gently on his chest, giving him no compressions. The daughter was in such distress that she never noticed that I was barely-moving. I stared into his eyes, wide-open yet-unresponsive. I spoke to the paramedics over the phone, talked the talk. Three quarters of an hour later, the paramedics declared-the-man dead, and thanked me for my assistance, despite the result. Death was the only result I assisted in. I always go and talk-to-the-family afterwards, give them my condolences, hug them if they request it. I look into their eyes and revel in their despair and loss. 

My count so far is twenty-seven, with no plans in stopping. I’ll leave with one piece of advice for any readers visiting the UK anytime-soon. IF you are ever in need of emergency medical assistance, never accept help from a British-man in aviator-shades and a dark-green-jacket, that’ll be me, and I won’t try and save you.