(You're reporting to everyone that a major zombie apocalypse is in play right now. In an anchorwoman-like voice) This just in: People being turned into hideous, brain-eating monsters that you may know as "zombies". The cause? A chemical experiment gone wrong. The cure? Scientists and doctors are trying to figure that out now, as we speak. Until then, I advise you to stay in your homes and barricade them. We cannot let any one of us get infected. Reaction of law enforcement officials is one of complete bewilderment at this hour. I repeat, reaction of law enforcement officials is one of complete bewilderment at this hour.