I just want to state right off the bat, I don't kill things. Not my M.O., not any part of my legacy. I'm a love spreader, I'm Hare-Burt the Happy Hopper. I bring joy to the people around me with my positive attitude towards life. I don't cause harm, I don't destroy. 

I work for the party store, but he works for the pet store that is two stores down from where we are in the same shopping center. We've been known to put on a sidewalk show every now and then. It helps us both out, and the bosses love it.

I tried to get him to come and witness this display of hideousness that I am subjecting the public to tonight, but he refused. He said it was my punishment, and why should he suffer as well. ... which yeah, makes sense.