Hey I wanted to say your voice was and audio was pretty clear and understandable it was an easy read to listen to. It felt like your focus was definitely on getting the diction right and making your words clear. May I ask what was your focus on this read? What type of story were you trying to tell as well? Your edit was not that jarring to me after listening to it either. My only suggestion is do a read like this again once your confident in your diction and play around with word emphasis and conveying emotion. Great job!

Try imaging you're retelling a story to your closest friend, and purposefully over-exaggerate the content of it. I think it may help with rbeck's feedback.

I liked the tone of your voice in this read! You are very close to nailing the idea of a narration-style script especially made for children. Your main weakness is the way you are "rushing" through the script. Now, that doesn't mean you're necessarily going really fast, but it doesn't sounds like you are taking the time to really bring this story to life. Adding some pauses and emphasis to excite your audience will make them want to continue listening to both the story and your voice. Find creative ways to help bring your voice more to life. Nice job though, your articulation was nice and you are definitely on the right track!