I really love the intonation and cadence of your voice. Around the middle, it sounded to me like you said either incorrect words, or simply pronounced them incorrectly (namely "stupendous" & "propitiated"). I also think the pacing seemed a bit off, but I'm not sure if that's the read or your edit. Overall, great work!

It does sound like the edit in between the lines were a bit too tight, but the focus will be more on the reading tone and technique. Because you're likely reading each short line as its own entity, the continuation from line to line felt disconnected. The line starts from low, goes to middle or middle-high, then drops back down to low. Next line, repeat the same pattern and so on.

Make sure to really pronounce those "T" sounds! Peter, little, teetered, and other words should feel almost over-emphasized. My main feedback aside from that is to really slow down. The read felt rushed, almost as if you wanted to hurry and get through it. Slow it down, add more of a narration voice to make it more audibly interesting to listen to (almost like you're reading to a child), and add more flavor to your energy by using your body to create more of a unique tone. Great stuff!