FANTASIC READ! I highly suggest you look into reading Horror aloud sometime! You had the perfect pacing and tone for one hell of a ghost story!

You have a great voice. It seems like your mic is really picking up some excess noise when you're speaking, I'm not sure if it's lip smacks or some moisture. I have a similar problem when I read that I've been working on. Other than that I think your sound is reminiscent of audio book story telling, you can get lost in it and captivated by it. Keep up the good work.

Your pacing is great! Slow and steady, but also interesting to listen to. It's compelling! Try adding a bit more emphasis on your articulation (PeTer, liTTle, etc.); stories like this are primarily for children, and most narration-styles for kids feature an over-emphasis on articulation. Honestly this was just so fun, don't worry about too many mouth noises as that's something you will get better at "controlling" as time goes on (although honestly it sounded fine to me). Nice work!