It is good to split your reads into smaller parts should you need to work on your vocal endurance. Breaking up of script certainly helps, but it can also introduce a sense of discontinuation from one part to another so you'll have to take note about that. On another note, your post-editing will need some work because I can hear the ambient noise in the first part get clipped off, followed by silence, then the 2nd part plays and so on. You may need to look into reducing as much ambient noise in your recording space as possible, and following some measure of EQing or high pass filter to edit out the lower frequencies.

Great read! My main feedback for you is to go all in on the energy output. I can tell you were bringing sone nice energy, but I would recommend taking it a step further and using your entire body to project more and add more of a passionate flavor to the performance! Your articulation was up and down, I'd recommend practicing tongue twisters to hone in on that. Really though, I think 90% of that can be fixed by slowing down. It felt like you were going fast just for the purposes of "how fast can you" instead of prioritizing articulation. Overall though, this was an impressive take! Nice job!