LOL - funny slate.....It would be even funnier if you said _ "THIS IS SERIOUS". then said your name with a giggle after a dramatic pause. LOL Thank you for doing your homework First read - is very rhythmic so just know that is your go to. Second read has personality for sure, and suits your background, so I can't knock you for that because the idea is to stick to your storyline - so thank you for honoring the work you created, however I want you to consider that for narration and actually most of our genre's they don't want to come across as miserable, and this character is pissed. He isn't going to sell anything to anybody. You also stay in a pattern in his anger so watch that as well for sure. So I would just encourage you that we always have to come across as the experts who want to help people not be disgusted in people - so while you owned your choices, just keep that in mind.