I like this, you sound like the grizzled war vet who has a bone to pick for the sham of a Federation. Also I really enjoy the ad-lib at the end. My suggestion is something I, myself, have to work on. You have a few big gasps for air before long passages. If not already, try lessening it by turning your mouth away from the mic when taking in air. Over all, tho, I enjoyed this one a lot! I was dragged into the world, and at the end of the day that's what matters.

This is really great! Your voice really suits a read like this. You should use this as a Video Game sample lol

Your voice fits this style of script very well! I like your take on this. I would recommend speaking just a little more clearly, emphasizing the various sounds just a little more, but overall this is a read that fits in the exact way that you intended. Great work throughout this semester, you did a wonderful job!