My daughter insisted on making my lunch: ham sandwich with chips, soda, and gummy snacks. She's barely in 3rd grade and she already makes better lunches than I do. She cut the crust off and everything. 

Okay, but hear me out: How is this 17 year-old kid in high school and this 60 year-old disgraced scientist friends?! Like, how the hell did they meet.

OH MY GOD, FREDDY, WE GET IT! WE ALL KNOW YOU HAVE A FILM DEGREE, YOU DON'T NEED TO TORTURE US WITH IT!