Well, don’t worry buddy. I’ll explain Wrestleball to you. Two teams of roughly a dozen players square off the goal of moving the ball into the end-zone, either with a power kick or by running with it. Obviously power kicks are WAY more rad. Anyway- the game begins with a scramble and the ball is dropped at the center between five of the starting players from each side. Offensive and defensive players can use any number of wrestling moves to get the ball from the other team and usually have a signature style that earns extra points. The players can obstruct or knock out opponents when trying to get the ball. That’s the basics but it gets tricky when you start to factor in the ninja and wing players whose function is to blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah....

But a powerful fighting heart... Needs a soul of beauty and grace at its side. Beauty, grace, and mutual awesome interests and hobbies. A gentle soul to protect... And give purpose to the fighting heart’s toil. I, TAIRA NO KAGEKIYO, have been awaiting the day I meet... A beautiful, delicate, tiny, gentle, frail soul. Like a single, trembling sakura petal in the palm of a warrior’s hand.

Yeah, alright… I guess it’s about time. So like… a while ago? I was this hardcore samurai dude, and I had this awesome clan of other hardcore samurai dudes. We were like a Wrestleball team, but like… maybe 50 times more rad than that. Maybe even a hundred times more rad, if you can believe that! Anyways, One day, me and my clan got totally betrayed and slaughtered by this OTHER clan, who we THOUGHT was totally chill. But they weren’t chill. They were un-chill. They killed us all… It was mad tragic, yo. But even though I was totally dead… My warrior heart kept beating in my cold, lifeless chest. It beat a fire into me…. A fire that ignited my body back into a hot fury of LIFE, yo! A fire that could never be extinguished… The fire… of revenge.