[Context: His bed has been sold since he cannot afford it anymore. He's whining to his best friend about the loss]

Memory foam mattress, Gina. The foam with memory. I had the best sleeps of my life on that bed and now it's gone. Insomnia was a distant relative - in fact, I don't know her. Insomnia who? Is that some kind of rock band?

[Interviewing a potential flatmate who says they're an aspiring musician]

Don't take this the wrong way, but. Are you sure you're actually any good? I've interviewed several "aspirers" today and I'm telling you, I don't know what they put in the Thames for everyone to believe they can just up and move to London and aspiration will turn to full-time employment but-

[Trying to sell illegal substances to the elderly]

You see, it's all a ploy. The pharmacy won't give you this 'cos they want you to buy the man-made crap. And when you don't, they don't care if you shrivel like a prune and your joints become so stiff you start walking like a t-rex. Capitalism, is the devil.