Sorry but the diary’s got a new owner.

Stop it! Are you crazy? Calm down! You don't even know the true value of this anyway. 

So sorry little lady, but you're talking to a pair of real thieves. 

Bresson seriously wanted to keep whatever this thing is a secret, but he must've wanted someone to open it. For example, a gifted safe cracker, a genius code breaker, and above all else, the world's greatest aficionado of treasure 

Oh really? Joy that's so cold. All right, then. Even when we find some amazing treasure, I'm not sharing it with you guys.

PSH! Not everything is about motherfucking dungeons, little miss...dungeon liker! 

Huff my shorts, you loser-ass, tsundere-ass, RPG-ass, nasty-smelling-ass, full-inventory-ass, Koopa-Troopa-lookin' ass BITCH!

OMG, clutch googling, Noodles. See, Aaravi? This guy's gotta be an actor. Everyone know it's impossible to fake an IMDb page!

Daaaaaaaamn, that's whack as hell. Now that I think about it, he's ALSO a corpse in this bagel commercial! Extremely suspicious.

THING NUMBER ONE: We are ABSOLUTELY heading to the Northern Woods. I'm full-ass invested at this point. 

THING NUMBER TWO: Noodles knows what the FUCK is up. Fist bump meeeeee, baby!

Woah...once I re-arranged these glowing stones to spell "LOX" a scroll appeared! Damn, this is some dope-ass guerilla Bagel Shop marketing. This promo slaps.

Psh. Whatevs, bagel-hater. But just in case it ends up being a bagel shop... I should prep first. I gotta make sure my patented cream cheese utility belt is full of MAXIMUM FLAVORS!